


Team Groupchat: An Interlude

by mizdiz



Series: Scrap Metal [2]
Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Gen, Male Friendship, Other, Post-High School, Texting, eradicating toxic masculinity w/ wholesome groupchat texts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 12:30:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17849531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizdiz/pseuds/mizdiz
Summary: High school is over, yet time's arrow marches forward. Our favorite brot3, through a series of groupchat messages, navigate their post-high school lives. Of course, it wouldn't be a story without plenty of Caryl sprinkled in.





	Team Groupchat: An Interlude

**Author's Note:**

> yeah that took me all of a week and a day to come back. i missed this universe too much, can't even lie. consider this an intermission of sorts. first and foremost, this is written as a thank you to all of you who said So Many nice words to me. we all can use a little team groupchat to cheer us up, right? secondly, though, this sets up the sequel, so pay close attention, and i'll see you in the next installment of this series, which will be coming to an archive near you much sooner rather than later. like, probably next week. we'll talk posting schedules then.
> 
> love you all,
> 
> -diz

_ June 27th _

_ Sunday _

 

(11:56a) ~my arms are broken.~

 

(11:56a) ~i’m never helping anyone move again.~

 

(12:00p) >Glenn, you carried like, one heavy box, and then took ten years moving pillows and blankets.<

 

(12:03p) ~i helped carry the mattress! and the box spring! that thing was heavy.~

 

(12:05p) >Lightly holding one end while the rest of us actually lift it up doesn't count as carrying it.<

 

(12:09p) ~duck you.~

 

(12:10p) ~surprisingly, that wasn't autocorrect, i just accidentally hit d instead of f.~

 

(12:12p) >Good to know you're phone incompetent in every aspect.<

 

(12:13p) ~rude.~

 

(12:17p) >Where's Daryl? Insulting you isn't as fun without him helping me gang up on you.<

 

(12:19p) ~why do you take pleasure in my suffering?~

 

(12:20p) >Because it's really funny.<

 

(12:25p) >Seriously where is Daryl? Do you think all the asbestos and lead and probably ghosts in the new place killed them already?<

 

(12:27p) ~nah, they're probably fuckin’.~

 

(12:27p) ~on that mattress i helped carry.~

 

(12:30p) >Uh huh.<

 

(12:34p) >How long does it take them to fuck? Surely Daryl can't last this long.<

 

(12:36p) ~what do you think his average is?~

 

(12:38p) >Idk, three, maybe four seconds?<

 

(12:39p) ~don’t you think that's a little generous?~

 

(12:42p) -fuk u guys 4ever-

 

(12:44p) >There he is!<

 

(12:45p) ~his spidey senses told him he was getting rekt in the groupchat and he had to come running.~

 

(12:47p) -no my fone wudnt stop vibrating n it was driving me nuts-

 

(12:48p) >Why didn't you just turn it off?<

 

(12:49p) -...busy-

 

(12:50p) ~fuckin’?-

 

(12:51p) >Christening the bed?<

 

(12:52p) ~naked tango?~

 

(12:53p) >Commiting sins against our lord?<

 

(12:54p) -stfu-

 

(12:55p) ~that wasn't a denial.~

 

(12:58p) -This is Carol on Daryl's phone. It's our first full day in our very own place together, and neither of us has work. Of course we're fucking.-

 

(12:59p) >While you're texting us?<

 

(1:00p) ~or do we just have the pleasure of being included in your post-coital pillow talk?~

 

(1:03p) >If it's the former then I'm impressed by your ability to multitask.<

 

(1:05p) -Yes we're amazing multitaskers. Daryl is currently inside me while we make love hanging upside down from the ceiling using bondage gear. Daryl looks very sexy in leather djtmdkl-

 

(1:06p) >...Did she die?<

 

(1:06p) ~daryl’s worst fear was finally realized. he fucked his girlfriend to death.~

 

(1:07p) -i took my fone back bc shes as bad as u-

 

(1:08p) -all 3 of u r the worst-

 

(1:09p) ~and yet you love us.~

 

(1:11p) -reconsidering-

 

(1:12p) -k i g2g i'll msg u l8r 2nite-

 

(1:13p) >Time for round two already??<

 

(1:14p) ~wait, before you go, tell us what your average is!~

 

(1:16p) -carol told me 2 say longer than urs-

 

(1:16p) -k bye-

 

(1:17p) ~have fun love bros.~

 

(1:17p) ~i meant lovebirds but i actually prefer that.~

 

(1:18p) >Daryl and Carol, our favorite Love Bros.<

 

(1:19p) ~happy housewarming, guys.~

 

—-

 

(9:27p) -hi-

 

(9:29p) >Finally decided to grace us with your presence, huh?<

 

(9:31p) ~too little too late, daryl, we've moved on.~

 

(9:32p) >Replaced you with a new grumpy redneck.<

 

(9:33p) ~who is much more sultry and much more woodsmany than you.~

 

(9:35p) -u done?-

 

(9:36p) >Rofl yeah, what's up? How's the new place?<

 

(9:37p) -its gr8-

 

(9:38p) -i mean its a trash heap-

 

(9:38p) -but its gr8-

 

(9:39p) -carols been tlking all day abt all this stuff she wants 2 do 2 make it look nice n shit shes super into it-

 

(9:42p) ~have you guys started unpacking or did you just bone all day?~

 

(9:44p) -stfu ofc we unpacked some stuff-

 

(9:44p) -well. carol started unpacking stuff n i felt guilty so i helped-

 

(9:47p) >What are you guys up to now?<

 

(9:48p) -shes passed tf out n im just lying here w/ her bc she fell asleep w/ her head on my chest so i cant rly move-

 

(9:50p) ~awww, that's cute. are you watching her sleep? got big ol’ heart eyes?~

 

(9:51p) -y r u so annoying?-

 

(9:52p) >Real talk though, how's it feel to officially be living with your girlfriend?<

 

(9:53p) ~does it even feel that different, since she basically lived with you at your dad's house anyway?~

 

(9:54p) -idk it feels diff bc its /our/ place u kno?-

 

(9:54p) -dont gotta worry abt my dad coming home from a job n not being able 2 c her 4 however long. i get 2 c her every day now-

 

(9:57p) ~god you guys are disgustingly cute.~

 

(9:58p) >You are, but we're happy for you.<

 

(10:00p) ~i’m jealous. i am gonna hate doing the long distance thing with maggie in a couple months.~

 

(10:01p) -yeah tht sux-

 

(10:02p) >At least Columbia isn't /that/ far from Savannah. If you meet in the middle it's only a little over an hour's drive.<

 

(10:04p) ~ugh we're all gonna be so far apart from each other. me in savannah, rick in atlanta, and daryl in between us both…~

 

(10:05p) - :/ -

 

(10:06p) >I don't like thinking about it either.<

 

(10:07p) ~at least you both have your girlfriends with you. i'm gonna be all alone. :( ~

 

(10:09p) -ur getting out of this shit town at least-

 

(10:12p) >We'll all be able to meet back up for the big holidays, and we'll have the groupchat.<

 

(10:13p) -we alrdy use the grpcht more than we c each other anyway-

 

(10:14p) >It'll feel like we're all still nearby.<

 

(10:15p) ~i guess that's true.~

 

(10:15p) ~ _ dumbass changed the grp name to “We'll Always Have the Groupchat <3” _ ~

 

(10:17p) >Amen.<

 

—-

 

_ July 4th _

_ Sunday _

 

(12:09p) >Has Carol convinced you to come to the party tonight, Daryl?<

 

(12:12p) ~i mean, you gotta. it's the last holiday before we all go off to different places.~

 

(12:14p) -rnt u both coming home 4 thnxgiving n xmas anyway?-

 

(12:17p) ~but it's not the saaaame.~

 

(12:18p) >Come hang out with us.<

 

(12:20p) -ugh its @ shanes house tho-

 

(12:21p) >It's a small sacrifice for quality time with your bffs.<

 

(12:22p) ~don’t you want to romantically kiss carol under the fireworks?~

 

(12:24p) -im bad @ romance n even if i wasnt y cant i do tht @ home?-

 

(12:27p) >Smh, give the kid his own house and now he refuses to leave it.<

 

(12:27p) >I use the term “house” loosely.<

 

(12:29p) -carols made it look rly gud so far actually idfk how-

 

(12:30p) -she keeps doin all this decorating n cleaning n shit n it almost looks like a place ppl wud live in on purpose-

 

(12:30p) -shes a magician-

 

(12:32p) ~that’s nice and everything, but you still have to come to the party.~

 

(12:34p) -ugh-

 

(12:35p) >I'm gonna...text Carol.<

 

(12:36p) -no dont she'll make me feel bad-

 

(12:40p) -gdi-

 

(12:41p) ~lol what'd she say?~

 

(12:42p) -tht if i dnt go i'll b sad tht i didnt spend time w/ u guys b4 u left n also if i agree 2 go she'll let me shoot bottle rockets @ glenn-

 

(12:43p) ~wait, come again?~

 

(12:44p) >Awesome, so you guys are going?<

 

(12:45p) -ugh ig-

 

(12:46p) ~no, wait, what was that bottle rocket thing?~

 

(12:48p) >See you all in a couple hours!<

 

(12:49p) ~ :/ ~

 

—-

 

(11:56p) ~hey where you guys g o?~

 

(11:56p) ~guysss~

 

(11:58p) >Glenn I can literally see you right now, you're on the other side of the driveway.<

 

(11:59p) ~o there you aree rick you are on the other side of the driv e way-

 

(12:00a) >Yes. How much have you had to drink?<

 

(12:01a) ~not ass much ass daryl~

 

(12:02a) >Is your autocorrect making you say ass or did you just make that typo twice?<

 

(12:02a) >Also now that you say that, I have no idea where Daryl went.<

 

(12:03a) ~daaaarryyllll~

 

(12:03a) ~do yo u think he herd me?~

 

(12:05a) >Jfc.<

 

(12:08a) -rick carol said you texted her to ask where i am i am here hi-

 

(12:09a) ~yooo daryls back!~

 

(12:09a) ~hi daryl~

 

(12:10a) >Where's here, Daryl?<

 

(12:11a) -i do not know but that is where i am-

 

(12:12a) >Yeah, that didn't make any sense.<

 

(12:13a) -carol says we are at the park down the street from the house with the party where shane loves i mean lives-

 

(12:14a) >Why are you there?<

 

(12:14a) ~you diitched us :)~

 

(12:14a) ~ *:( ~

 

(12:15a) -there were people like a lot of them and i am very dronk no drink no drunk there we go-

 

(12:15a) -very loud and crowded it made me anxious so carol said lets walk to the park and i guess we did cuz i am at the park-

 

(12:16a) -she is very nice-

 

(12:17a) >I picked the wrong day to be designated driver. You're both plastered and Michonne is fighting Shane's little brother over sparklers.<

 

(12:18a) -my girlfriend is really pretty-

 

(12:19a) ~mine is two~

 

(12:19a) ~to~

 

(12:19a) ~Tutankamon~

 

(12:20a) -no but mine is really pretty have you seen her like damn-

 

(12:21a) ~mine is gorgeous~

 

(12:22a) >Mine just decked a fifteen year old in the face.<

 

(12:24a) -when the fireworks do the thing it makes her face all different colors-

 

(12:24a) -you guys know what is really super wild?.?-

 

(12:27a) >Sorry, I had to get Michonne to stop throwing down with that kid.~

 

(12:27a) >What's really super wild, Daryl?<

 

(12:29a) -i dont remember-

 

(12:30a) -o wait yes i do sorry-

 

(12:31a) -i get to live with her like she and i live in the same house and when the party stops being on we get to go home together and sleep in our bed together and that is so weird isnt that weird i never wanted to live with nobody before-

 

(12:31a) -love her-

 

(12:33a) >So you're an affectionate drunk, good to know.<

 

(12:34a) ~do you ghouls think that we a re gonna stop being friends because of college and we'll neverr see each other again and life will jist go on and on and maybe nothing we do matters and we will all jist dye and become dust?~

 

(12:35a) >Aaaand you're an existential drunk. Good.<

 

(12:36a) -i will be your friend glenn you are an idiot but also i love you cuz we are friends i forgot where i was going with this but you are my friend-

 

(12:37a) >You said “friend” three times in that sentence. If you can call it a sentence, I mean.<

 

(12:38a) -you are my friend too rick i love you both and also my girlfriend who is very pretty-

 

(12:39a) ~i love you ghouls Tutankamon :((( ~

 

(12:40a) >You are both ridiculous dummies. And I love y'all too.<

 

(12:41a) > _ grp prjct rick changed the group name to “The Best Friends a Ghoul Could Have” _ <

 

—-

 

_ July 5th _

_ Monday _

 

(2:03p) >HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING TODAY?<

 

(2:06p) ~oh my god stop yelling my head hurts so bad and i can hear you even though text.~

 

(2:07p) -stfu rick-

 

(2:09p) >SORRY, ARE YOU TWO HUNGOVER???<

 

(2:10p) -i will actually kill u-

 

(2:11p) ~please choke on dick and die.~

 

(2:13p) >WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR LOVE FEST FROM LAST NIGHT?<

 

(2:15p) -yell 1 more time i fukin dare u-

 

(2:16p) >SOME FRIENDS YOU ARE!<

 

(2:17p) - _ you blocked grp prjct rick _ -

 

(2:18p) - _ you changed the group name to “get fukd rick” _ -

 

(2:20p) ~serves him right.~

 

(2:21p) -until my hangover goes away u can get fukd 2-

 

(2:22p) ~right back at you, dickhead.~

 

(2:23p) -asshole-

 

(2:24p) ~lmao. best friends for lyfe.~

 

—-

 

_ July 15th _

_ Thursday _

 

(5:54p) ~i don't know what to major in.~

 

(5:54p) ~school starts in like a month and i have no idea what i want to study.~

 

(5:59p) >You can always just get your gen eds out of the way until you decide to declare a major.<

 

(6:02p) ~yeah but you all already know what you're doing with your lives, and i am just like ?????~

 

(6:04p) -lmao i kno wut im doing w/ my life? since whn? some1 shud have told me-

 

(6:05p) ~maybe you aren't in school or something, but you have your own place, a full-time job, a stable relationship, etc etc.~

 

(6:07p) -im literally sitting on the floor w/ henry moping bc carol started her new job this week n she works opposite my sched so ive barely seen her since sun-

 

(6:08p) -im pathetic n def dnt kno wtf im doing p much ever-

 

(6:09p) >And I’m signed up for criminal justice classes and have the path to the police academy down, but I'm going to an entirely new city in less than two weeks and Michonne will be there but she'll be living on campus so it'll be the first time I've ever lived alone and I'm terrified rofl.<

 

(6:10p) >None of us know what we're doing, buddy, we're all making it up as we go.<

 

(6:12p) ~i don't know if that helps or makes it worse.~

 

(6:12p) ~i am worried about me and maggie.~

 

(6:14p) -y?-

 

(6:15p) >The long distance thing?<

 

(6:17p) ~yeah. what if being away from me makes her realize she wants something else?~

 

(6:17p) ~all three of us have girlfriends we love a ton, but do you ever worry that we're too young and it won't last?~

 

(6:18p) >I dunno, I try not to think about it and just enjoy it one day at a time.<

 

(6:19p) -i still aint always sure y tf carol wants 2 b w/ me in the 1st place so im the wrong person 2 ask-

 

(6:20p) -i prob luv her way more thn she luvs me tbh-

 

(6:21p) >Why do you say that?<

 

(6:24p) -idk-

 

(6:24p) -bc im like a dumb puppy always following her arnd like its been 4 days n i miss her even tho we live in the same gd house n still sleep in the same bed 2gether every nite-

 

(6:25p) -im clingy n shes a normal human being-

 

(6:27p) ~the last thing either of you are is normal human beings.~

 

(6:28p) ~and she loves the shit out of you, you're just self-conscious.~

 

(6:31p) -mb-

 

(6:31p) -u n maggie will b fine-

 

(6:32p) ~you think?~

 

(6:33p) -ya anyone who can put up w/ u n ur stupid ass txting 4 this long has smthn wrong in their brain n r forced 2 stay w/ u 4ever-

 

(6:34p) >It's true, and we're speaking from experience.<

 

(6:35p) ~i realize that was a roast in the form of a backhanded compliment, but i'll take it.~

 

(6:36p) ~ugh. i'm just nervous. and every day that it gets closer i get more nervous.~

 

(6:39p) >I mean, same.<

 

(6:40p) -i aint even goin anywhere n im worried-

 

(6:41p) >Tbf, Daryl, you worry about literally everything.<

 

(6:42p) ~it took you two hours to work up the nerve to take a piss at shane's house on the 4th of july because “there are a lot of people here, what if someone else is in the bathroom and i gotta awkwardly wait for them to get done or something?”~

 

(6:44p) -stfu-

 

(6:46p) -do u guys think im gna go back 2 bein like i was b4 once u leave?-

 

(6:47p) >How do you mean?<

 

(6:47p) ~like antisocial and quiet?~

 

(6:48p) -ya-

 

(6:48p) -n like-

 

(6:48p) -alone-

 

(6:49p) >It’s not like we’re going to stop talking to each other, we’ve already established that.<

 

(6:50p) ~plus you have carol.~

 

(6:51p) -4 now i do-

 

(6:51p) -but wut if its like glenn said n its only 4 a lil while?-

 

(6:51p) -wut if she gets sick of her bein my only person n decides she needs 2 get away from me n order 2 just like breathe?-

 

(6:52p) -ugh fuk u glenn u made me all worried now-

 

(6:53p) ~told you you worry about everything.~

 

(6:54p) >I think we all need to chill a little bit.<

 

(6:54p) >Daryl, Carol looks at you like you shit rainbows, she loves you like nobody’s business and you gotta just believe her when she says so. And also we would never let you go back to being Daryl the Recluse, we promise.<

 

(6:55p) >Glenn, it’s gonna be rough doing long-distance, but if it’s meant to be then it’ll work out, and if it’s not, then at least then you’ll know. And so what if you don’t know your major yet? You still have time.<

 

(6:56p) >And @ myself, you have been preparing for this for ages, and Michonne will be there to help you, so grow a pair.<

 

(6:57p) >Life is gonna change, guys, like, we can’t stop that, but we got our girls and we got each other, and we’re gonna be fine. I’m sure we’re gonna be fine.<

 

(6:59p) ~always so full of wisdom, rick.~

 

(7:00p) >I try.<

 

(7:00p) >Hey, do you guys wanna go do something? Get out of our heads for a bit?<

 

(7:01p) -like wut?-

 

(7:03p) ~the $5 theater is showing the matrix 2, a documentary about sushi, and knocked up.~

 

(7:05p) >Those are all terrible options. Let’s do it. Meet at my place?<

 

(7:07p) -i can b there in like 30 min-

 

(7:08p) ~me too.~

 

(7:10p) >Baller.<

 

(7:11p) -i’ll show u guys how carol sneaks in snacks-

 

—-

 

_ July 25th _

_ Sunday _

 

(8:24a) ~ :( ~

 

(8:24a) - ): -

 

(8:24a) > :((( <

 

(8:25a) ~and then there were two.~

 

(8:26a) >Yeah.<

 

(8:26a) >Thanks for seeing us off.<

 

(8:27a) -ofc-

 

(8:28a) -drive safe-

 

(8:29a) ~text us when you get there.~ 

 

(8:30a) >Will do.<

 

(8:31a) >Love you guys.<

 

(8:32a) ~yeah. :( ~

 

(8:33a) -us 2-

 

—-

 

(2:07p) > _ grp prjct rick sent a photo _ <

 

(2:07p) >The new digs.<

 

(2:10p) ~looks more habitable than daryl’s place!~

 

(2:11p) -rude but also like-   
  


(2:11p) -tru-

 

(2:12p) ~do you like it?~

 

(2:15p) >I’m sure I will.<

 

(2:15p) >Right now it’s just kind of empty and different and Far Away, you know?<

 

(2:16p) -i get it-

 

(2:18p) ~at least you have michonne for a couple weeks before she moves into the dorms. that’ll help it not feel quite so lonely i bet.~

 

(2:21p) >It will. Like I said, I’ll learn to like it. I just miss you guys already.<

 

(2:22p) >And you know.<

 

(2:22p) >Change or whatever.<

 

(2:24p) ~we’re all kinda bummed.~

 

(2:25p) -carol n i have just been lyin in bed w/ henry bein sad sacks since we got home-

 

(2:25p) -she said her hairs nvr gna look nice again bc michonne is the only 1 who makes her actually brush it-

 

(2:27p) ~i’ve been playing video games all day and have been making myself sad because we won’t have game night this thursday.~

 

(2:30p) >Ugh why did you say that??<

 

(2:32p) -mb we can online game or smthn-

 

(2:32p) -like tht cud b our thing-

 

(2:33p) ~hey that’s not a bad idea. it’ll be a way for us to make sure we’re still keeping in touch.~

 

(2:35p) >Okay! We’ll all try our hardest to make time on Thursdays.<

 

(2:36p) ~groupchat date night.~

 

(2:37p) -im down-

 

(2:39p) >See, I told you guys we’d be fine.<

 

(2:40p) ~nothing can sink this Friend Ship. we’re like the titanic.~

 

(2:41p) -???-

 

(2:41p) -the titanic sank dumbass-

 

(2:42p) >Like, very famously.<

 

(2:43p) ~i know, but we’re like a big luxurious ocean liner that people call unsinkable.~

 

(2:44p) >But...but it wasn’t unsinkable.<

 

(2:45p) ~but people said it was! that’s what i mean. people will never think this Friend Ship will sink.~

 

(2:46p) -but it sank nyway idgi-

 

(2:47p) >Glenn, this isn’t a good analogy.<

 

(2:48p) ~whatever, you guys aren’t getting it.~

 

(2:50p) >No we’re not, that’s the point.<

 

(2:51p) -still missing us rick?-

 

(2:52p) >Unfortunately yes.<

 

(2:52p) >But this definitely helps curb the pain.<

 

(2:52p) >Idiot.<

 

—-

 

_ August 4th _

_ Wednesday _

 

(6:27p) ~you’re missing out, rick!~

 

(6:32p) >Missing out on what?<

 

(6:34p) - _ you sent a photo _ -

 

(6:34p) -dog birthday-

 

(6:37p) >Omfg, it’s Henry’s birthday??<

 

(6:37p) >How’d you get him to wear the hat?<

 

(6:39p) -carol put it on him n he does w/e she says bc he luvs her even more thn i do-

 

(6:40p) >No fair. I want to come to the dog birthday party.<

 

(6:41p) >Also I miss Carl. I wish he were in Atlanta with me. Or that I were there with him so I could take him to the party.<

 

(6:43p) ~funny you should say that…~

 

(6:44p) ~ _ dumbass sent a photo _ ~

 

(6:44p) ~we asked your parents if we could borrow him for the day.~

 

(6:47p) >YOU TOOK MY DOG TO HENRY’S BIRTHDAY PARTY AND NOT ME??<

 

(6:48p) ~you aren’t here!~

 

(6:48p) -n henry wnted him 2 come 2 his party-

 

(6:50p) >Y’all are unbelievable.<

 

(6:51p) ~this is what you get for going off to Atlantis.~

 

(6:53p) >Atlantis.<

 

(6:53p) >Gonna study to be a police officer for the lost civilization.<

 

(6:54p) -didnt kno they had cell service underwater rick-

 

(6:55p) -lmao glenn threw a dog treat @ my face n missed-

 

(6:55p) -hes like 2 ft away from me-

 

(6:56p) -ow-

 

(6:56p) ~got you that time, asshole.~

 

(6:57p) > :( <

 

(6:57p) >I wanna throw dog treats at Daryl’s face. Throw an extra one for me, Glenn.<

 

(6:59p) -he cant bc i just put him in a chokehold n forced him to eat 1-

 

(7:00p) >Chokeholds are illegal.<

 

(7:01p) -ur point?-

 

(7:02p) ~my mouth tastes like sawdust and chicken byproduct.~

 

(7:04p) >Delicious.<

 

(7:07p) ~it’s time to blow out the candles!~

 

(7:08p) >Real talk, how do you get a dog to blow out candles?<

 

(7:09p) -dnt worry abt it n just sing hap bday 2 my son-

 

(7:10p) >But I’m not there.<

 

(7:10p) >You know what? Fuck it.<

 

(7:11p) >Happy birthday to you.<

 

(7:11p) >Happy birthday to you.<

 

(7:11p) >Happy birthday dear Henry.<

 

(7:11p) >Happy birthday to you.<

 

(7:12p) -ur singin voice is much better thn glenns-

 

(7:13p) ~fuck you, you didn’t even sing, you just mumbled.~

 

(7:14p) >Did he blow out the candles?<

 

(7:15p) -yes-

 

(7:15p) -we helped a lil-

 

(7:15p) - _ you sent a photo _ -

 

(7:16p) -carol made him his own dog cupcake n like a whole human cake 4 us she spent all morn on them-

 

(7:16p) -n dnt worry rick she made a cupcake 4 carl 2-

 

(7:17p) >If you guys are this extra with your dog I wonder how much you’d spoil the fuck out of your kids if you ever had any.<

 

(7:18p) ~god, can you imagine?~

 

(7:20p) -yeah just dogs 4 now thnx-

 

(7:21p) >Rofl, fair enough.<

 

(7:22p) >Anyway, tell Henry I’ll get him a present when I’m back in town.<

 

(7:23p) -his fave color is red n dnt say he cant tell bc hes colorblind bc he can n also he doesnt like toys w/ squeakers-

 

(7:24p) >Jfc.<

 

(7:24p) >Happy birthday, Henry.<

 

(7:24p) >Sorry your parents are insane.<

 

(7:25p) -he says thnx n also fuk u-

 

(7:26p) ~teaching him such vile language, daryl.~

 

(7:27p) >He’s Daryl and Carol’s son. What else would you expect?<

 

—-

 

_ August 14th _

_ Saturday _

 

(11:52p) ~either of you guys awake?~

 

(11:55p) -i am-

 

(11:56p) >Me too, what’s up?<

 

(11:56p) -u freakin out?-

 

(11:58p) ~yes.~

 

(11:58p) ~i’m not ready to leave.~

 

(11:59p) >The first week or so is rough while you get adjusted, but you’re actually better off than I was. You’re jumping right into orientation week. You’ll be busy with activities and shit, you’ll hardly notice you’re missing home.<

 

(12:01a) ~sounds fake.~

 

(12:01a) ~are you still coming to say bye before i leave tomorrow, daryl?~

 

(12:04a) -duh-

 

(12:05a) -maggies driving up w/ u n ur parents rite?-

 

(12:07a) ~yeah. and then she’s moving to south carolina next saturday.~

 

(12:07a) ~i don’t wanna go.~

 

(12:07a) ~ugh i’m being super pathetic, but change is scary you guys.~

 

(12:09a) >I was terrified too.<

 

(12:10a) -fwiw i dnt wnt u 2 go either-

 

(12:11a) >Rofl, can you imagine telling past you on the day you met Glenn that you’d be telling him you’re sad he’s leaving and that you’ll miss him?<

 

(12:13a) -im gettin laid on a regular basis by the most perfect girl ive ever met nthn surprises me anymore-

 

(12:13a) -but it does show tht not all change is bad glenn-

 

(12:15a) ~i know.~

 

(12:15a) ~doesn’t mean it’s easy.~

 

(12:17a) >You got this, bud. And you have Thursday night to look forward to if you get homesick.<

 

(12:18a) ~that’s true.~

 

(12:19a) -go 2 slp itll b fine-

 

(12:20a) -i’ll b by b4 u go-

 

(12:21a) >Facetime me in!<

 

(12:22a) ~okay.~

 

(12:22a) ~okay okay okay.~

 

(12:22a) ~i’ll try.~

 

—-

 

_ August 15th _

_ Sunday _

 

(10:23a) -sigh-

 

(10:24a) -n then there was 1-

 

(10:25a) -im gna silence the chat 4 a lil bit-

 

(10:25a) -i’ll b back l8r-

 

(10:25a) - _ you silenced the chat _ -

 

—-

 

(7:09p) - _ you unsilenced the chat _ -

 

(7:10p) -back-

 

(7:13p) ~why did you go awol on us????~

 

(7:15p) -sry i was idk-

 

(7:15p) -feelin some type of way n didnt wna tlk 2 nyone-

 

(7:17p) >You pulled an old-school Daryl on us. Stop that.<

 

(7:18p) -sry-

 

(7:19p) -u get 2 savannah ok glenn?-

 

(7:19p) -sry 4 not askin earlier-

 

(7:22p) ~it’s fine, i get it. and yeah, i’m here. saying bye to my parents and maggie was kind of the worst thing ever, but i’m here.~

 

(7:22p) ~i was telling rick about my new roommate. i only talked to him for a little bit, but he’s here on a baseball scholarship, and he has a big baseball bat just like...in his bed on its own pillow. i’m hoping he’s gonna move that later, but he got here yesterday and has already unpacked so…~

 

(7:23p) -tht is fukin weird-

 

(7:24p) -did he seem like a douche?-

 

(7:25p) ~he seemed...very sure of himself and i’m not sure i 100% trust him.~

 

(7:28p) >Don’t get murdered by your questionable roommate.<

 

(7:29p) ~i will try not to.~

 

(7:30p) -hows it otherwise?-

 

(7:32p) ~the campus is nice. i met these two dudes, abraham and eugene, who are both weird as fuck, but we ate dinner together and they invited me to go to the club fair tomorrow evening after the first day of orientation.~

 

(7:34p) -god college sounds terrible-

 

(7:35p) ~oh yeah, you’d hate it. the RA wants us to do weekly dorm activities to help us bond and make friends.~

 

(7:38p) -ty 4 makin me feel better abt not applying 4 skool-

 

(7:39p) >Thank you for making me feel better about starting with community college.<

 

(7:40p) ~yeah, we’ll see how it goes.~

 

(7:40p) ~already kind of homesick.~

 

(7:41p) ~i miss my cat.~

 

(7:43p) >Ask Daryl to invite her over to party, since he has had his friends’ pets over more times than actual people.<

 

(7:45p) -thts a lie i had u guys ovr a few times n i only had carl ovr once-

 

(7:46p) >Okay, but you still invited my corgi to a party.<

 

(7:48p) -hes henrys friend-

 

(7:48p) -it was his bday-

 

(7:50p) ~god what am i going to do without you losers?~

 

(7:51p) >Maybe have a normal, intelligent conversation for once.<

 

(7:53p) -as if hes not the reason half our convos r stupid?-

 

(7:54p) >Okay, fair.<

 

(7:55p) ~you’re so mean to me and yet i still wish you were here. is this what stockholm’s syndrome feels like?~

 

(7:57p) -ha ha-

 

(7:58p) >Seriously, though, you doing okay?<

 

(8:01p) ~eh.~

 

(8:01p) ~i will be.~

 

(8:03p) >And you, Daryl?<

 

(8:04p) -i will b-

 

(8:05p) >We all will be. We’re the Titanic, right?<

 

(8:06p) ~i thought you said that analogy didn’t make any sense.~

 

(8:08p) >It doesn’t, but you’re sad so I’m humoring you.<

 

(8:09p) > _ grp prjct rick changed the group name to “Near, Far, Wherever You Are” _ <

 

(8:09p) >Through the power of Celine Dion and Thursday night online gaming, we will get through this separation.<

 

(8:11p) -god bless-

 

(8:12p) ~amen.~

 

—-

 

_ September 6th _

_ Monday _

 

(9:03a) ~how badly are you guys getting hit?~

 

(9:09a) >It’s raining like a motherfucker, but nothing too crazy. How’s it down there?<

 

(9:11a) ~not as bad as they predicted since it got downgraded to a tropical storm overnight, but our classes are cancelled today and tomorrow, and there’s been a lot of flash flooding. what about back at home, daryl?~

 

(9:16a) -basically like a bad thunderstorm but im rdy 4 it 2 go away its makin my wrist hurt like hell-

 

(9:19a) >Your wrist?<

 

(9:21a) -ya i broke it whn i was 10 n now every time it storms rly bad it gets all achy its stupid-

 

(9:21a) -its been doin this 4 two days now n work just makes it worse-

 

(9:24a) ~jesus, how badly did you break your wrist?~

 

(9:25a) -compound fracture n i didnt get it set rite away so by the time i went 2 the hospital it was p bad-

 

(9:26a) -i have full use of it but weather changes man-

 

(9:26a) -shit hurts n idek y-

 

(9:29a) >How’d you break your wrist that badly?<

 

(9:30a) ~and why the hell didn’t you go to the doctor like, immediately? compound fractures are when the bone like, pokes through the skin, right?~

 

(9:36a) -idk i fell out of a tree it wasnt a big deal-

 

(9:36a) -just fuked up my wrist is all-

 

(9:37a) -is maggie gettin hit up in sc?-

 

(9:39a) ~nah, she’s inland enough that it’s mostly just drizzle.~

 

(9:40a) ~i’m not used to being this close to the coast. this shit is a lot freakier when you’re right by the ocean. i get why people aren’t fans of hurricanes now.~

 

(9:43a) >Well stay safe.<

 

(9:44a) -n dry-

 

(9:45a) ~i’ll do my best.~

 

—-

 

(10:01p) -i lied-

 

(10:04p) ~hm?~

 

(10:06p) >You lied about what?<

 

(10:11p) -how i broke my wrist-

 

(10:12p) -i didnt fall out of a tree-

 

(10:14p) ~okay…~

 

(10:15p) >Daryl, was it because of like, that stuff you told us a while back? About your dad?<

 

(10:18p) -yeah-

 

(10:21p) ~we’re not gonna make you tell us, you know that right?~

 

(10:22p) >If it’s personal that’s fine.<

 

(10:25p) -it is but i shud n i feel like i can so wut the hell rite?-

 

(10:26p) -so i was 10 n i had found this bird tht had a hurt wing so i put it in a shoebox n took it inside 2 try n help it. idk wut i was gna do but i didnt wnt 2 just leave it 2 die-

 

(10:27p) -my dad came home from a buddys house piss drunk an hr l8r or smthn n found me in the living room tryna help this bird n he starts makin fun of me n tellin me tht the bird was gonna die n i was bein a pussy n this n tht-

 

(10:28p) -i started arguin w/ him n he gets rly mad whn i do tht so he took the shoebox from me put the lid back on n stepped on it-

 

(10:28p) -thn he handed it back 2 me n told me to stfu abt it-

 

(10:29p) -i was bein dumb tho n got all upset ovr the stupid thing n it annoyed him so he grabbed me by the arm n said tht if i wnted 2 play w/ birds so bad i cud spend the nite outside. he threw me out the front door n i fell down the stairs n landed on my wrist-

 

(10:30p) -he cudnt take me 2 the hospital bc he was plastered n they wud kno rite away tht he was the 1 who did it so i had 2 wait 4 my brother 2 get home like 9 or 10 hrs l8r so he cud take me-

 

(10:30p) -they told me 2 tell them i fell out of a tree n i did n thts just wut ive always said-

 

(10:31p) -lol n whn dad got the hospital bill he got pissed again n beat me ovr tht 2-

 

(10:32p) -idk thts it ig-

 

(10:32p) -sry mb tht was 2 much info i just thot tht if i cud tlk abt it thn mb i shud-

 

(10:33p) >Holy god, Daryl, don’t apologize.<

 

(10:33p) ~yeah, what rick said. definitely don’t feel like you have to say sorry.~

 

(10:34p) >I don’t really know what to say about it other than that’s fucking terrible and I’m sorry it happened.<

 

(10:35p) ~i’m not sure what to say either. that’s a lot for a kid to go through. like, a /lot/.~

 

(10:37p) -it usually wsnt always tht bad-

 

(10:37p) -tht was 1 of the worse ones bc it was whn he was usin a shitton-

 

(10:38p) -4 abt 5 yrs after my mom died he got rly into drugs but he cooled off a lil whn he got the trucking job or at least he wasnt high 24/7 anymore so it was mostly just the booze-

 

(10:38p) -n also tht meant he was gone a lot so tht helped-

 

(10:39p) ~he seriously made you wait ten hours to go to the hospital?~

 

(10:40p) -yeah idk i was more upset tht he killed the bird lmao-

 

(10:41p) -i nvr told anyone abt this b4 jsyk-

 

(10:41p) -carol asked abt the scar on my wrist n i told her i broke it but she didnt ask how n shes the only other person i wud have told-

 

(10:42p) >Thanks for feeling like you can tell us.<

 

(10:43p) ~yeah, man, i’m glad you opened up to us.~

 

(10:44p) >You feeling okay about it?<

 

(10:45p) -lol-

 

(10:45p) -idek-

 

(10:46p) -part of me is like eh w/e-

 

(10:46p) -another part wnts 2 throw my fone out into the rain n nvr tlk 2 u guys again-

 

(10:48p) >Preferably don’t do that second one.<

 

(10:49p) -i wont-

 

(10:51p) ~you know what’s really crazy to me?~

 

(10:52p) -hm?-

 

(10:54p) ~you went through absolutely horrific shit like that, and still somehow are one of the most kind-hearted people i’ve ever met.~

 

(10:57p) -i make fun of u constantly-

 

(10:58p) ~yeah, but i know you’re kidding. when it matters, you’re this sweet, albeit awkward as fuck, teddy bear.~

 

(11:01p) -teddy bear-

 

(11:03p) >It’s true. You’re like his little ball of anxiety, compassion, and love crammed inside this grumpy, burly biker-redneck. And given what little you’ve shared about your childhood with us? That’s super impressive.<

 

(11:06p) -ig-

 

(11:09p) ~it is. it’d be really easy for you to go the other way, but instead you’re the type of guy who throws birthday parties for his dog.~

 

(11:12p) -was i just sposed 2 ignore his bday?-

 

(11:13p) >Exactly.<

 

(11:15p) -smh-

 

(11:16p) -hey carol just got home so i gotta go make sure she eats smthn b4 bed bc she nvr eats dinner during her shift-

(11:17p) ~he doesn’t even realize it, does he rick?~

 

(11:18p) >Nope. He could go move the sun to keep Carol from getting a sunburn and would just be like “wasn’t that just the polite thing to do?”<

 

(11:19p) ~heart of solid fucking gold.~

 

(11:20p) -shut up i just dnt wnt her 2 go 2 bed hungry cuz then she wakes up w/ a stomach ache n her whole morn gets thrown off n i dnt wnt her 2 have a bad day bc of it-

 

(11:21p) ~fucking oblivious.~

 

(11:21p) >Carol’s lucky to be one of the people Daryl loves, cuz damnit he loves hard.<

 

(11:22p) -wtf r u even tlking abt?-

 

(11:23p) ~not to go to get too sappy, but does that make us lucky too?~

 

(11:24p) >I believe so, yes.<

 

(11:25p) -ur both shitheads-

 

(11:26p) ~ <3 ~

 

(11:27p) >Hey Daryl?<

 

(11:29p) -wut?-

 

(11:30p) >Thanks for sharing that with us. For real.<

 

(11:33p) -its w/e-

 

(11:35p) -thnx 4 listenin-

 

(11:36p) >Always, brother.<

 

(11:37p) ~we got your bacterial meningitis.~

 

(11:37p) ~sigh.~

 

(11:37p) ~don’t even say anything.~

 

(11:38p) ~we knew it was gonna happen.~

 

—-

 

_ October 2nd _

_ Saturday _

 

(7:15p) -tdy i learned there is a wrong way 2 put toilet paper on the holder-

 

(7:15p) -n if i get peanut butter in the jelly jar again im not allowed 2 make sandwiches nymore-

 

(7:18p) >Rofl, trouble in paradise, brother?<

 

(7:19p) -yeah carols in a bad mood-

 

(7:19p) -n im making it worse ig-

 

(7:21p) ~why’s she in a bad mood?~

 

(7:23p) -idk she had a bad convo w/ her dad earlier but also im annoying n she prob hates me n is mad tht she signed a lease 2 live w/ me until at least dec-

 

(7:25p) ~hmmmmm sounds like you may be projecting your own insecurities onto her bad mood.~

 

(7:25p) ~just a guess.~

 

(7:26p) >Yeah, I doubt she's gonna leave you for getting peanut butter in the jelly jar.<

 

(7:28p) -k but wut abt 4 putting the toilet paper roll on wrong?-

 

(7:29p) ~i mean, that's crossing the line, but i think you're safe.~

 

(7:30p) >Was she even that mad, or was she just annoyed and now you're jumping to worst case scenarios?<

 

(7:32p) -idk-

 

(7:32p) -the 2nd one prob-

 

(7:32p) -but-

 

(7:32p) -mb she was alrdy annoyed n this just made it worse n now shes gna leave?-

 

(7:35p) ~daryl, carol isn't going to leave you ffs.~

 

(7:36p) >You are riding the hell outta that insecurity wave today, what gives?<

 

(7:40p) -idk-

 

(7:40p) -its dumb-

 

(7:42p) ~what is?~

 

(7:44p) -she came home from work last nite n i had fallen aslp on the couch waiting up 4 her n instead of just goin 2 bed she woke me up n made me go 2 our rm so we cud slp 2gether n 4 sum reason it made me feel some type of way like idk-

 

(7:45p) -wanted ig-

 

(7:45p) -n thn i got all worried bc i dnt wnt tht 2 go away-

 

(7:47p) >Okay, but it's normal for couples to bicker over tiny shit. You can't convince yourself she's gonna leave you every time you have a minor argument.<

 

(7:49p) -ik but how do u kno tht someone isnt gna just up n go all of a sudden?-

 

(7:49p) -like she cud decide tmrw tht she wnts nothin 2 do w/ me n theres not a damn thing i cud do-

 

(7:50p) >Yep, she could. Unfortunately that's part of being in a relationship.<

 

(7:51p) ~some of it is just trust and faith, bro.~

 

(7:54p) -dnt like tht-

 

(7:55p) >Yeah, but you like her.<

 

(7:55p) ~love her, in fact.~

 

(7:56p) >So sometimes you're gonna have to just believe that she loves you too.<

 

(7:57p) ~and also make sure you put the toilet paper on the holder correctly, and use separate knives. just for good measure.~

 

(7:59p) -y r relationships so hard?-

 

(8:01p) >I dunno.<

 

(8:01p) >Cuz things worth having take effort?<

 

(8:02p) -ig-

 

(8:03p) ~and she's worth the effort, right?~

 

(8:05p) -yes-

 

(8:05p) -nthn is worth more effort thn her-

 

—-

 

_ Halloween _

_ Sunday _

 

(8:17p) >I'm at a Halloween party with a bunch of people from Michonne's art program, and lemme tell you, art hoes go fuckin’ ham on costumes.<

 

(8:18p) >I was just gonna wear a sheriff's hat and call it good, but Michonne straight up spent a good two hours doing makeup to make me this undead sheriff outfit.<

 

(8:18p) >I'm kind of intimated by all these people, tbh.<

 

(8:23p) ~i am so jealous, i'm spending my halloween night stuck in a study room at the library with eugene because i have a physics test tomorrow and needed someone to tutor me.~

 

(8:24p) ~nothing he says makes any sense, i think i actually know less science now than when we started.~

 

(8:26p) -carol insisted on us goin out 2 where she crashed her truck last yr to pay our respects n thn we had sex in the back of her car-

 

(8:26p) -not sure how respectful tht was but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ -

 

(8:31p) ~oh my god don't even talk about sex, i haven't seen maggie in person for almost a month.~

 

(8:32p) ~best we have is dirty skyping.~

 

(8:35p) -ok im better at tlking abt sex but not /tht/ much better plz dnt tell me any details-

 

(8:37p) >They have been playing nothing but indie rock for the past hour and a half.<

 

(8:39p) -u once played 5 blake shelton songs in 1 hr during the spring break trip so u deserve it-

 

(8:42p) ~nothing eugene says is in english, i swear.~

 

(8:43p) >How did you even manage to have sex in Carol's car, btw Daryl? It's so small.<

 

(8:44p) ~that’s what she said.~

 

(8:45p) >Shut up.<

 

(8:45p) -stfu-

 

(8:46p) -n idk we figured it out-

 

(8:49p) ~how often do you guys get it on, anyway?~

 

(8:50p) -rnt u studying rn?-

 

(8:51p) ~i gave up. i started blatantly looking at my phone ages ago and he's still talking so i'm just gonna let him run himself out of steam.~

 

(8:52p) -ur gna fail-

 

(8:53p) ~probably. at least we know i shouldn't major in physics. now answer the question.~

 

(8:54p) -u told me not 2 tlk abt sex-

 

(8:55p) ~yeah, but now i'm curious.~

 

(8:56p) >Me too, tbh.<

 

(8:57p) -jfc idk-

 

(8:57p) -few times a week? depends on work n stuff-

 

(8:59p) ~more or less than four times per week?~

 

(9:02p) -i asked carol n she asked y tf we were tlking abt tht in the grpcht n i told her it was bc u guys like 2 make my life difficult-

 

(9:02p) -she also said more but tht we double up on wknds-

 

(9:04p) >Damn you get laid more than I did when I was living with Michonne for those couple weeks.<

 

(9:05p) ~who would have guessed modest little daryl would have such a high libido?~

 

(9:06p) -stfu-

 

(9:06p) -besides idek if thts wut it is-

 

(9:09p) >Meaning?<

 

(9:11p) -idk i like sex but mostly i just like her-

 

(9:12p) -like if she told me rn tht she nvr wnted 2 have sex again but still wnted 2 b w/ me id be fine w/ it-

 

(9:14p) >So sex is more like just another way for you to be close to her instead of some insatiable need or something?<

 

(9:17p) -ig?-

 

(9:19p) ~which begs the question, why are you getting so much sex and i am getting zero?~

 

(9:22p) -idk do u have a weird penis?-

 

(9:23p) >Askdsmlasksja!<

 

(9:24p) ~there aren't enough middle finger emojis in the world for you, you know that?~

 

(9:26p) -happy halloween-

 

—-

 

_ November 18th _

_ Thursday _

 

(1:08p) -hey i have 2 bail on game nite-

 

(1:16p) ~boo you whore!~

 

(1:19p) >So it begins. You're slowly pulling away from us, Daryl, cutting us out of your life.<

 

(1:21p) -i fukin wish-

 

(1:22p) -no a buddy of my cowrkrs is gna come by the house whn carols @ work n help me c wut i can do 2 fix it up-

 

(1:22p) -carol keeps tlking abt all the shit she'd do if we had the $ n this dude is willin 2 help me w/ materials if i do a lot of the labor-

 

(1:23p) -thot itd b a nice xmas present 2 give her someplace worth stayin assumin she wnts 2 sign another lease @ the end of next month-

 

(1:25p) ~god i want to be mad at you for bailing but i can't because you're such a sweet boyfriend. it's gross.~

 

(1:26p) >It really is absolutely vile. What all are you gonna do to the house?<

 

(1:27p) ~is your landlord cool with you changing stuff?~

 

(1:32p) -lmao i asked him n he literally said tht aside from just blowing it up anything i do 2 it will just raise its market value bc its such a pos-

 

(1:33p) -n idk i had a few ideas. tht weird empty space by the kitchen cud prob b turned into a tiny bedroom-

 

(1:33p) -carol always says she'd feel real fancy if she lived somewhere w/ a guest rm. she said she cud pretend we have friends n like 2 have ppl ovr instead of bein introverted recluses lol-

 

(1:34p) -n i gotta do smthn abt how god fukin ugly the kitchen is she loves cooking n i feel bad she has 2 look @ tht weird wallpaper-

 

(1:37p) >Doesn't it have ducks on it or something?<

 

(1:38p) ~they’re swans and they stare at you and are super creepy. i have no idea why someone would make a wallpaper design like that.~

 

(1:40p) -yeah-

 

(1:41p) -n itd b a lot bigger prjct but itd b cool 2 start tryna finish the basement-

 

(1:43p) >Since when do you have a basement???<

 

(1:45p) -since always but we didnt show u bc its rly rly gross n prob haunted-

 

(1:49p) ~you guys sound like actual adults, it's weird. like, you're talking about fixing up your house, and you got your full-time jobs, meanwhile i made ramen noodles in a coffee pot at 2am the other night.~

 

(1:51p) >Very resourceful of you.<

 

(1:52p) ~thank you very much.~

 

(1:53p) >It is weird, though. I barely could figure out how to make my electric bill go to autopay. I don't understand how you're casually like, “yeah, I'll pull an HGTV on my house as a gift for my girlfriend.”<

 

(1:55p) -idk i think we both just sorta grew up p fast u kno?-

 

(1:55p) -carols shit isnt mine 2 tell but u kno i didnt exactly grow up like a normal kid. ive been payin bills for yrs so this aint rly new-

 

(1:58p) ~if anything good came out of all the shit you had to go through, maybe it's that you've got your shit together way better than most people our age.~

 

(2:02p) -lmao i dnt have my shit 2gether i just kno how 2 put up drywall-

 

(2:02p) -im still clueless af dnt u worry-

 

(2:05p) >I think Glenn means that you've got better real life skills than we do.<

 

(2:06p) ~i don't really even know what drywall is.~

 

(2:09p) -mb but i also aint gotta clue wut 2 do w/ my life-

 

(2:12p) >You seem kind of happy with the life you already have. Maybe you don't need something new, maybe you just need to improve what you already got.<

 

(2:14p) -yeah mb-

 

(2:14p) -ig we'll c how it all plays out-

 

(2:17p) ~i still have no idea what to study. i gotta pick a mastectomy sooner or later.~

 

(2:18p) ~study tech since ur so gud @ it-

 

(2:19p) >I can see the headlines now: “Glenn Rhee is the New Steve Jobs; Doesn't Know How to Turn Off Autocorrect”<

 

(2:20p) ~ha ha.~

 

(2:22p) >Anyway, we'll miss you tonight, Daryl. But we'll see each other next week!! Thanksgiving break!!<

 

(2:24p) ~i’m not coming, you guys are assholes.~

 

(2:25p) -k but carol is making tht strawberry pie thing u ate 4 pieces of last yr-

 

(2:26p) ~......~

 

(2:26p) ~goddamnit, fine.~

 

(2:29p) >Excited to see you guys irl. It's been too long.<

 

(2:30p) -yeah-

 

(2:30p) -im excited 2-

 

—-

 

_ Thanksgiving _

_ Thursday _

 

(3:03p) -this is weird-

 

(3:07p) ~what’s weird?~

 

(3:10p) -carol n i but mostly carol are making like real thnxgiving food-

 

(3:10p) -like just 4 the 2 of us-

 

(3:11p) -i asked her y since we have friendsgiving 2mrw w/ every1 n she said its bc neither of us rly ever did holidays b4 n she wnts 2 start doin them w/ me bc im her family-

 

(3:15p) >Aw, that's sweet.<

 

(3:18p) -it is but idk how 2 do holidays wut if i fuk it up somehow?-

 

(3:18p) -also shes makin enuf food 4 a small army im not sure she knows we can only eat so much b4 we just die-

 

(3:21p) ~i think the point of doing holidays with you is to make new traditions. so like, you don't have to know how to do them because it's whatever you want it to be.~

 

(3:22p) >I think Glenn's right, which is not something I say often. But this seems like her way of telling you she loves you and wants to do like, life things with you.<

 

(3:26p) -thts a lot-

 

(3:37p) >Yeah, a bit I suppose.<

 

(3:38p) ~don’t you want to do life things with her?~

 

(3:39p) -duh-

 

(3:40p) -idk i think i still dnt expect her 2 wnt 2 stay-

 

(3:40p) -but this is smthn ud do if u wnt 2 stay isnt it?-

 

(3:42p) >Seems like it to me, brother.<

 

(3:43p) ~hate to break it to you, but she loves you.~

 

(3:45p) -i love her 2-

 

(3:45p) -ig it just nvr gets less surprising-

 

(3:46p) -kinda hope it nvr does-

 

—-

 

_ December 4th _

_ Saturday _

 

(5:09p) - _ you sent a photo _ -

 

(5:09p) -there is a tree in my house-

 

(5:10p) -carol made us go 2 a place 2 kill a tree n put it in our living rm wut is the point of this?-

 

(5:15p) ~it’s a christmas tree!~

 

(5:16p) -yes-

 

(5:16p) -wut is the point of an xmas tree?-

 

(5:19p) ~tradition!~

 

(5:20p) -idgi-

 

(5:22p) >This is another one of those “I love you and want to start our own holiday rituals” things. Like making a full Thanksgiving dinner for two people.<

 

(5:24p) -we used so much of our nov food stamps on tht shit man-

 

(5:24p) -also carol has made so many diff thngs out of leftovers i dnt understand how she knows all this shit-

 

(5:25p) -but anyway wtf do i do w/ this tree?-

 

(5:27p) ~did she get ornaments?~

 

(5:30p) -yeah n sum fairy lite thngs from the dollar store tht mite set the house on fire-

 

(5:32p) >Then you decorate the tree, and try not to burn to death in the process.<

 

(5:33p) ~and then you sit in the living room with just the tree lights on and make passionate love while bathed in the holiday glow.~

 

(5:35p) -stfu but also cant-

 

(5:37p) ~she on her period?~

 

(5:39p) -y wud tht matter?-

 

(5:40p) ~.....um…..~

 

(5:41p) >Just let that one go, Glenn. Put it wherever you put information about Daryl you didn't need to know.<

 

(5:42p) -wut?-

 

(5:43p) >Nothing. Why can't you make passionate love while bathed in the holiday glow?<

 

(5:46p) -some dumb thing w/ the pharmacy-

 

(5:46p) -they fuked up her birth control script n she cant get it back until next month whn she renews her insurance-

 

(5:47p) -we cud just use condoms but we dnt have any n we spent all day cutting down n then putting up a tree 4 no reason so neither of us feels like goin 2 the store-

 

(5:48p) -tht was prob tmi sry im distracted bc i still dnt understand y theres a tree in my house trees belong outside-

 

(5:49p) >I'm imagining you just sitting there staring at the tree looking completely baffled.<

 

(5:50p) ~i know your childhood was super fucked, but have you seriously never had at least one christmas tree?~

 

(5:52p) -not any tht i rmbr-

 

(5:53p) -ig i kinda like it but i still dnt get y its a thing-

 

(5:53p) -henry is gna destroy it-

 

(5:54p) -but w/e it makes carol happy-

 

(5:58p) ~you still staring at it?~

 

(6:00p) -its so weird-

 

(6:01p) >Rofl.<

 

(6:01p) > _ grp prjct rick changed the group name to “Daryl Discovers the Holiday Spirit” _ <

 

—-

 

_ Christmas _

_ Saturday _

 

(9:09p) ~you guys have a good holiday?~

 

(9:13p) >Yeah, it was nice. Just got back from my grandparents’ place a couple hours ago. They gave me $100 and a tin full of cookies. They are very grandparenty.<

 

(9:16p) -carol n i have been sitting on the couch 4 the whole day w/ henry drinking boxed wine n eating pie out of the pan w/ forks while watching hallmark movies~

 

(9:16p) -so its been awesome-

 

(9:19p) ~did she like the house renovations so far?~

 

(9:21p) -yeah shes real happy abt em-

 

(9:21p) -i am 2 actually the place looks neat u guys shud come over tmrw or smthn-

 

(9:23p) ~i’m down.~

 

(9:24p) >Me too.<

 

(9:26p) -ur holiday alright glenn?-

 

(9:29p) ~yeah it's been good to be home. both my sisters managed to make it, too, and it's been awhile while since we were all together.~

 

(9:33p) >So I guess our first Christmas as adults was an all around success?<

 

(9:34p) ~i’d say so.~

 

(9:35p) -definitely-

 

(9:37p) >Hell yeah.<

 

(9:37p) >Merry Christmas guys.<

 

(9:38p) ~merry christmas~

 

(9:39p) -merry xmas-

 

(9:39p) -gud 2 have u home-

 

—-

 

_ New Year's Day _

_ Saturday _

 

(1:27p) -hi how did i get back to my house?-

 

(1:30p) >Rofl! I drove you and Carol home at like 2 in the morning, do you really not remember that?<

 

(1:34p) -tbh i dnt rmbr most of last nite-

 

(1:34p) -i lost track arnd shot 7-

 

(1:35p) -remind me 2 nvr do a drinking contest w/ glenn ever again-

 

(1:38p) >Well seeing as he's not saying anything I'm starting to think he died.<

 

(1:39p) -gud he deserves it i feel like hell-

 

(1:40p) -lol carol does 2 apparently bc she just sneezed n i said bless u n she told me 2 stfu n then covered her head w/ her pillow-

 

(1:42p) >Yeah, no, she was plastered too.<

 

(1:43p) >You guys had a hell of a good time in my upstairs bathroom.<

 

(1:44p) -wut?-

 

(1:46p) >You don't remember that either?<

 

(1:47p) -rmbr wut?-

 

(1:48p) >Rofl.<

 

(1:49p) -?-

 

(1:51p) ~i remember.~

 

(1:51p) ~also hi i'm not dead but i wish i was~

 

(1:52p) -wut dnt i rmbr??-

 

(1:54p) ~you guys fucked in rick's bathroom and he walked in on you, and carol threw a toothbrush at his head and said it was payback for her walking in on him and michonne.~

 

(1:54p) ~and then to the best of my knowledge you just carried on with your business.~

 

(1:56p) -plz say ur lying-

 

(1:57p) >He's not. I, and my therapist, will never forget that sight.<

 

(2:00p) -ugh i think i do sorta rmbr tht-

 

(2:00p) -i have 2 go live underground now i cant look either of u in the eye again-

 

(2:02p) >I mean, in Carol's defense, the exact same thing did happen in reverse when she walked in on me and Michonne, so I guess we're even now?<

 

(2:05p) -im nvr drinking again its always a terrible idea-

 

(2:06p) ~speaking of, who won our contest?~

 

(2:09p) >Daryl by a lot. You got to shot 9 but threw it up so we deducted points.<

 

(2:11p) ~for a police officer you sure egg us on to break the law.~

 

(2:12p) >Not a police officer yet. Hopefully by then we'll all be legal drinking age and I won't have to debate the moral conundrum.<

 

(2:14p) -i am so hungover-

 

(2:15p) ~same.~

 

(2:17p) >I always get bummed being designated driver until the next morning and I hear you guys complaining.<

 

(2:17p) >Personally, I don't think I ever fully recovered from the cinnabon vodka incident. That certainly set a precedent.<

 

(2:19p) -ugggh-

 

(2:19p) ~don’t talk about that.~

 

(2:21p) >Ha, sorry.<

 

(2:22p) >So I guess this is how we're ringing in the new year?<

 

(2:23p) ~at least we're all in the same place. for now. daryl and i will be six feet under here shortly. but it's been real, guys, glad to have spent the past year with you.~

 

(2:25p) -i got up 2 check on henry n walking back 2 the bed was 2 hard so im just on the floor now-

 

(2:25p) -this is ur fault i h8 u both-

 

(2:27p) >We love you too, brother.<

 

(2:28p) ~bros 'til the end.~

 

(2:29p) -yeah yeah-

 

(2:29p) -happy new year assholes-

 

(2:30p) - _ you changed the group name to “yall r ok ig” _ -

 

(2:31p) ~ _ dumbass changed the group name to “friendship: unsinkable like the titanic” _ ~

 

(2:32p) - _ you changed the group name to “the titanic sunk u idiot tht still dsnt make sense” _ -

 

(2:33p) > _ grp prjct rick changed the group name to “Team Groupchat” _ <

 

(2:34p) -i like tht-

 

(2:35p) ~team groupchat: best friends 4eva.~

 

(2:36p) -against our fukin will-

 

(2:37p) >Here's to a whole new year of bromance my friends.<

 

(2:38p) -cheers or w/e-

 

(2:40p) ~cheers.~

 

(2:42p) ~i just threw up on my cat.~

 

_ fin _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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